Taking The Mask Off 💕

Overtime honesty has gained so many shades of grey:

‘Honest just to the point where we don't hurt somebody,’

‘Honest with the half-truths so that we don't get in trouble,’

‘Honesty when it suits us,’

‘Honesty and truth that we believe based on our side of the story,’

‘Honesty in it's masked form in which we leave out the details that may cause someone to become upset with the situation or with us.’

As much as we all say that we're honest and authentic, each of us uses a different shade of honesty at different times in our life. Through meditation and self discovery, I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer okay using the last shade of honesty; the one in which we leave out the details to keep someone from becoming upset with the situation or with us.

Lately, more than ever, I have been asked to keep the truth from parents about their child's condition or slow progress in order to avoid causing the parent to become upset.

It seems that as a community, we have become really uncomfortable with handling emotions, not only our own emotions, but the emotions of people around us. We simply leave out details because we don't know what to do when people cry.

Recently, I was asked to avoid sharing numbers and details with parents to avoid parent upset and crying. I sincerely struggled with this decision; I didn’t want to go ‘against’ my team, but I also felt that as a parent, I would want the details. I would want to know what was going on while the team is present to talk to me about it, rather than reading it on my own in the notes later. Before the meeting, I meditated. I decided to allow my intuition to guide me in making the best decision for all of those involved.

My intuition guided me to be honest and forthcoming. As I moved through my results, the parent began to cry. As I attempted to engage and support her, answering questions and allowing her to talk, she was swiftly redirected to a new topic. It was almost as if no one else saw her crying. At this moment, I had to make the uncomfortable decision to navigate back to the emotional experience that was happening at this time and help her navigate a way out. After this, there was another point in the meeting in which she began to cry; she was thinking about all of the information that was presented for the day and expressing her anxiety about the future and what it might hold for her child. As she began to tear up, the team continued to move through talking about goals and outcomes and all the things that don't matter as a parent when you're worried about your child.

As a community we have become so uncomfortable with crying and emotions that we literally numb it all by continuing to talk about the facts and stay on course of what we know and what we're comfortable with. After the meeting, I definitely questioned my decision for authenticity and sharing the actual details of the evaluation with the parent. I thought to myself ‘Maybe I should follow the current ‘flow’ and keep from upsetting people.’ As I completed another meditation, I was reassured that what I am doing is supporting my growth and self-discovery. Later that evening, the same parent reached out to me by text message. She began thanking me for being honest and sharing the information with her. She reported that she was grateful for the support and understanding. She expressed the rest of her concerns and we were able to talk through more questions that had arisen once she had time to process.

It was really nice to have the feedback on my step out of the ‘grey area of honesty’ and into something that was more unchartered, emotions. In this, I realize that I may not be 'for everyone.' There are people that will dislike me or will judge me for my honesty; I am ok with that. I have been a people pleaser my whole life and it is EXHAUSTING. With that said, I am not 'out' to hurt anyone with truth. I still believe in 'shades' of honesty for protection when the time is right. I am just dropping the last shade from my playlist. I am growing in my comfort with navigating emotions that come along with it.

This week, I encourage you to step outside of your comfort zone. Allow your intuition to guide you as you step out of the shades of honesty and become more authentic. Take the mask off whatever the cost may be. Allow people to see your colors and notice the colors of others. Become aware of human emotion and just be present with it. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how freeing this little change may be.